Is there a REALationship with out trust ?
How many of us have been at a point in our relationships where we doubt our partner/spouse?
Thinking:
Is he really there ? Is so & so there too ? Did he really stop talking to her? Is he still texting her ? Is he doing it again?
When trust has vacated the premisses of your relationship doubt sets in ! I put the word REAL in Relationships because that exactly what we are dealing with REAL LIFE. Its unfortunate to think of a relationship without trust because you as other individual in the relationship go crazy with WHAT IF'S????
What if he see his ex?
What if she tries something?
What if he meets someone else?
What if he sleeps with someone else...(again)?
WHAT IF?????
To get right down to it we have all been lied to in one way or another. If you say "I don't lie"... that in itself would be the ultimate lie. Why? Sometimes we don't want to be bothered so you lie about what your doing or going, sometimes even who your with? Now, if your relationship has suffered in a way where your and your partner have lost some form of trust in your relationship what are you doing to rebuild it? Just forgiving your partner isn't enough. Yes I said FORGIVENESS IS NOT ENOUGH !!! As the saying goes " You forgive but you don't forget" ! Will you ever truly forget, NO but do you need to bring it up every day, every week, once a month, 12 times a year NO. Especially of your trying to move forward. Notice the last word being forward. You can't move forward if your constantly bringing your partner and yourself back to the place you were before. The place that made you insecure to begin with. It doesn't matter what type of situation got you to that place if your willing to move forward and move past it. Holding on to those feelings from the past will have you continue to have little to No trust in your partner.
Trust works like a two way street, where you both should be able to trust each other. Not one being trusting while the other tests the limits of trust in your relationship. If you have set out to Forgive your partner you have to truly forgive and not bring the situation up whenever you feel. Now granted it will be hard especially in times of arguments but bringing it up will only make your spouse re-live the situation too, and make them mad.
Think of it this way: Imagine you have been accused of something and every chance someone gets they throw it in your face. The feelings attached with the guilt will resurface. How can u let these feelings go if you keep giving them LIFE by continuing to bring it up!! Yes doubt is like fire the more you feed into it the bigger it gets and the more harm it causes.
Understandably the pain that you feel isn't something that will go away right away but in time it will. If this is the person that you love and wants to be with you as much as you want to be with him, he will show you in their actions that they are sorry.
Trust works like a two way street, where you both should be able to trust each other. Not one being trusting while the other tests the limits of trust in your relationship. If you have set out to Forgive your partner you have to truly forgive and not bring the situation up whenever you feel. Now granted it will be hard especially in times of arguments but bringing it up will only make your spouse re-live the situation too, and make them mad.
Think of it this way: Imagine you have been accused of something and every chance someone gets they throw it in your face. The feelings attached with the guilt will resurface. How can u let these feelings go if you keep giving them LIFE by continuing to bring it up!! Yes doubt is like fire the more you feed into it the bigger it gets and the more harm it causes.
Understandably the pain that you feel isn't something that will go away right away but in time it will. If this is the person that you love and wants to be with you as much as you want to be with him, he will show you in their actions that they are sorry.
You can regain the trust in your relationship but it will be a team effort. The team being the 2 of you. Stay tuned tomorrow I will share with you how to rebuild this trust... realistically! !
