The Other Woman-

                      To be honest who hasn't been there, the woman cheated on or the women used to cheat with.  It's never easy for either side having "invested" themselves in this for the long haul. It's terrible if you think about it for all women especially the other women or in 2016 as they are now called Side Chicks. I know they have to hate being called  "The Other Woman/The Side Chick"  I mean  look at the word SIDE, as in... Side Chick/ Side piece/ Side anything. Meaning someone's second choice , never to truly have the 100% commitment from the men that use them.  Why hate the title? You see it defines her as a place holder like working a Part-Time Job with Full-time Hours . And truth be told, who really wants to put in those long hours and get part-time benefits.

           What are Part-Time Benefits you ask, well this means there is No real commitment, No need to claim, No acknowledgment in public, No significant holidays spent together( for long periods of time or with his family... they don't know you exist remember ), all in all your just “friends”, friends with minimal benefits.  Who wants a part-time position, when you can have that full-time position accompanied with insurance benefits, vacation days, sick days, personal days AND a company car. Right? True

     Now if you already know your man has a SC then this is where it gets tricky. So you've argued about it, and are at a stand still, meaning he's not changing and your not leaving, know that it's just a matter of time before you relationship crumbles, like a house built on bad foundation. Here's a thought, by not taking any action you are showing him that  you are unbothered by her, why? Because in your situation you look at yourself as the Queen B. You shoukd know that as you know of her she more than likely knows about you too, and is out to get you. Now you may be reading this and thinking what does she mean out to get me? Well, lets look at it this way. There are several different types of "other women/ SC’s...

The Other Woman/ Side Chick With a Side Dude The SC that knows she’s a SC and doesn’t care because your man is her Side Dude. He is nothing more to her than that, her Side Dude. Her king is her king and your man as her Side Dude is disposable. She could careless about you and what the two of you have going on, because to her, he is there to please her not to commit to her.

The I Will Be You Type of Side Chick  This is the SC that believes you are disposable which means you are replaceable, which in turn means bye bye for you as the “Main Chick”. She will do whatever it takes turn your man into “her man”, because in her mind he's already hers. This SC makes sure to treat him like her king. He may in turn  buy her things, take her out on dates (far awsy), and treat her like s temporary Queen.  Since she knows that thete is already a Queen on the throne she negins to work on her exit plan as a SC to s MC. She is very strategic in absolutely makes sure that she doesn’t do the things he says that you do, that piss him off. How does she know these things, well its simple, who else is he going to complain and rant to.  This is the SC that is fine with knowing that you exist right off the bat, and No she doesn’t care that you two have been in a 7 year relationship with however any kids.  Why not? Well, because she is “investing” herself in this relationship that she believes will be something bigger in the end.  The end which results in her being the Main chick, the Lady of his household. Even if thats not what his plans are for her.

  

I’m a SC ? The SC that truly didn’t know that she is the SC. She never knew you existed, she never knew he had kids or a family that he lives with. She thought she found the man of her dreams and unfortunately found out that he is committed to someone else. It doesn’t really matter how she found out but know that she knows she feels stuck. A person whom she has felt a deep connection with planned to be with and may have even presented to her family. Finding out she, herself, is the SC  well that hurts. Especially when now that she knows he’s probably feeding her lies about how he and you don’t sleep in the same bed. Or how you two have decided to stay in the same house for the kids.  But he never makes mention of her possibly meeting his so called “Ex” to verify. Since now she know he’s lying…What is she to do now? How can she explain this to her friends, better yet her family?

Ladies who are SC if you do become the MC always remember  that what hoes around comes around. Therefore there will be a time when he'll do to you what he's done to his MC. You'll say No, because he really ♡'s me, but wait didn't he really love his MC too? Don't be fooled!

        And ladies the answer to the question ”How to Stop the SC Dilemma ?” It’s easy Don’t Allow It to happen in your relationship. Too many times we are broken down by men whose actions chip away at our heart. Where we feel fear of leaving, fear of the unknown of what is to come. But we need to know our worth, especially since a man that is comfortable hurting you will never change. Looking at his track record will help you see where you've been versus where you are, and where you Want and Should be.
        In his mind he thinks of reasons to change, but then again Why Should He? You have allowed him to continue his actions because neither one of you leave, not the SC or the MC have left him. The truth is that we as women see relationships as investments, and they are an investment. Investments where we give our time, energy, love, fears, hopes, and dreams to share with our partner, or king, and the return should be a beautiful, healthy long relationship. But no matter how much you invest in your relationship you can always walk away with no return, nothing to show for those years that you have “invested” in him and with him in your "relationship". No matter how much you support him, and hold him down if he’s doing you wrong he will continue to do you wrong, because you are hurt, but okay with it.  There are times where we as women are Afraid to let the go for fear of starting over. Fear that no one wants a women with kids, the fear that all men are the same, and sometimes that fear that you are too old to find someone else. Says who? Look at yourself as an investment, are you worth a good man. Just as a good man is deserving of you. Someone who will love your kids as their own, someone who will treat you like their Queen. Someone who at the end of the day knows what you have gone through in the past and understands the hurt that you’ve endured.  He will treat you like a Queen, and you will treat him like a deserving King.
        Now while it’s not impossible for people to change if you chose to stay with your partner make sure they know what you will not tolerate in your relationship. This doesn’t mean keep brining up what happened in the past. This just means that the two of you have an understanding as to what you are not willing to deal with, in other words these are your Deal Breakers. While you need to treat him like you want him he should treat you the same.

But in case your through...

                             Remember You Should Never "Breathe Life Into A Dead Situation"

 

The Other woman -

                      To be honest who hasn't been there, the woman cheated on or the women used to cheat with.  It's never easy for either side having "invested" themselves in this for the long haul. It's terrible if you think about it for all women especially the other women or in 2016 as they are now called Side Chicks. I know they have to hate being called  "The Other Woman/The Side Chick"  I mean  look at the word SIDE, as in... Side Chick/ Side piece/ Side anything. Meaning someone's second choice , never to truly have the 100% commitment from the men that use them.  Why hate the title? You see it defines her as a place holder like working a Part-Time Job with Full-time Hours . And truth be told, who really wants to put in those long hours and get part-time benefits.

           What are Part-Time Benefits you ask, well this means there is No real commitment, No need to claim, No acknowledgment in public, No significant holidays spent together( for long periods of time or with his family... they don't know you exist remember ), all in all your just “friends”, friends with minimal benefits.  Who wants a part-time position, when you can have that full-time position accompanied with insurance benefits, vacation days, sick days, personal days AND a company car. Right? True

     Now if you already know your man has a SC then this is where it gets tricky. So you've argued about it, and are at a stand still, meaning he's not changing and your not leaving, know that it's just a matter of time before you relationship crumbles, like a house built on bad foundation. Here's a thought, by not taking any action you are showing him that  you are unbothered by her, why? Because in your situation you look at yourself as the Queen B. You shoukd know that as you know of her she more than likely knows about you too, and is out to get you. Now you may be reading this and thinking what does she mean out to get me? Well, lets look at it this way. There are several different types of "other women/ SC’s...

The Other Woman/ Side Chick With a Side Dude The SC that knows she’s a SC and doesn’t care because your man is her Side Dude. He is nothing more to her than that, her Side Dude. Her king is her king and your man as her Side Dude is disposable. She could careless about you and what the two of you have going on, because to her, he is there to please her not to commit to her.

The I Will Be You Type of Side Chick  This is the SC that believes you are disposable which means you are replaceable, which in turn means bye bye for you as the “Main Chick”. She will do whatever it takes turn your man into “her man”, because in her mind he's already hers. This SC makes sure to treat him like her king. He may in turn  buy her things, take her out on dates (far awsy), and treat her like s temporary Queen.  Since she knows that thete is already a Queen on the throne she negins to work on her exit plan as a SC to s MC. She is very strategic in absolutely makes sure that she doesn’t do the things he says that you do, that piss him off. How does she know these things, well its simple, who else is he going to complain and rant to.  This is the SC that is fine with knowing that you exist right off the bat, and No she doesn’t care that you two have been in a 7 year relationship with however any kids.  Why not? Well, because she is “investing” herself in this relationship that she believes will be something bigger in the end.  The end which results in her being the Main chick, the Lady of his household. Even if thats not what his plans are for her.

  

I’m a SC ? The SC that truly didn’t know that she is the SC. She never knew you existed, she never knew he had kids or a family that he lives with. She thought she found the man of her dreams and unfortunately found out that he is committed to someone else. It doesn’t really matter how she found out but know that she knows she feels stuck. A person whom she has felt a deep connection with planned to be with and may have even presented to her family. Finding out she, herself, is the SC  well that hurts. Especially when now that she knows he’s probably feeding her lies about how he and you don’t sleep in the same bed. Or how you two have decided to stay in the same house for the kids.  But he never makes mention of her possibly meeting his so called “Ex” to verify. Since now she know he’s lying…What is she to do now? How can she explain this to her friends, better yet her family?

Ladies who are SC if you do become the MC always remember  that what hoes around comes around. Therefore there will be a time when he'll do to you what he's done to his MC. You'll say No, because he really ♡'s me, but wait didn't he really love his MC too? Don't be fooled!

        And ladies the answer to the question ”How to Stop the SC Dilemma ?” It’s easy Don’t Allow It to happen in your relationship. Too many times we are broken down by men whose actions chip away at our heart. Where we feel fear of leaving, fear of the unknown of what is to come. But we need to know our worth, especially since a man that is comfortable hurting you will never change. Looking at his track record will help you see where you've been versus where you are, and where you Want and Should be.
        In his mind he thinks of reasons to change, but then again Why Should He? You have allowed him to continue his actions because neither one of you leave, not the SC or the MC have left him. The truth is that we as women see relationships as investments, and they are an investment. Investments where we give our time, energy, love, fears, hopes, and dreams to share with our partner, or king, and the return should be a beautiful, healthy long relationship. But no matter how much you invest in your relationship you can always walk away with no return, nothing to show for those years that you have “invested” in him and with him in your "relationship". No matter how much you support him, and hold him down if he’s doing you wrong he will continue to do you wrong, because you are hurt, but okay with it.  There are times where we as women are Afraid to let the go for fear of starting over. Fear that no one wants a women with kids, the fear that all men are the same, and sometimes that fear that you are too old to find someone else. Says who? Look at yourself as an investment, are you worth a good man. Just as a good man is deserving of you. Someone who will love your kids as their own, someone who will treat you like their Queen. Someone who at the end of the day knows what you have gone through in the past and understands the hurt that you’ve endured.  He will treat you like a Queen, and you will treat him like a deserving King.
        Now while it’s not impossible for people to change if you chose to stay with your partner make sure they know what you will not tolerate in your relationship. This doesn’t mean keep brining up what happened in the past. This just means that the two of you have an understanding as to what you are not willing to deal with, in other words these are your Deal Breakers. While you need to treat him like you want him he should treat you the same.

But in case your through...

                             Remember You Should Never "Breathe Life Into A Dead Situation"

The Side Chick Dilemma

Main Chick vs. Side Chick, the what Chick?


                   Exactly! The truth is that  we’ve  all been there, whether we were the ones cheated on, or the ones he’s cheated with. It is never easy for either side having "invested" themselves in this for the long haul. 

     It's terrible if you think about it for all women especially the SC.I know they hate being called that,  A Side Chick, because they hate the word side, like Side Chick, Side piece, Side anything. Why? You see  it defines her as a place holder in a part-time position. And truth be told, who really wants to put in those long hours  and get part-time benefits.
      Sheesh I wouldnt. What are Part-Time Benefits you ask, well this means there is No real commitment, No need to claim, No acknowledgment in public, No significant holidays spent together( for long periods of time or with his family... they don't know you exist remember ), all in all your just “friends”, friends with minimal benefits.  Who wants a part-time position when you can have that full-time position that comes accompanied with insurance benefits, vacation days, sick days, personal days AND a company car. 

       This is where it gets tricky. If you know that your man has a SC  you've argued about it and your at a stand still, meaning he's not changing and your not leaving, know thats it's just a matter of time before it crumbles. Heres a thought, by not taking any action you are showing him that  you are unbothered by her, why? Because in your situation you look at yourself as the Queen B. You shoukd know that as you know of her she more than likely knows about you too, and is out to get you. Now you may be reading this and thinking what does she mean out to get me? Well, lets look at it this way. There are several different types of SC’s...

Side Chick With a Side Dude The SC that knows she’s a SC and doesn’t care because your man is her Side Dude. He is nothing more to her than that, her Side Dude. Her king is her king and your man as her Side Dude is disposable. She could careless about you and what the two of you have going on, because to her, he is there to please her not to commit to her.

The I Will Be You Type of Side Chick  This is the SC that believes you are disposable which means you are replaceable, which in turn means bye bye for you as the “Main Chick”. She will do whatever it takes turn your man into “her man”, because in her mind he's already hers. This SC makes sure to treat him like her king. He may in turn  buy her things, take her out on dates (far awsy), and treat her like s temporary Queen.  Since she knows that thete is already a Queen on the throne she negins to work on her exit plan as a SC to s MC. She is very strategic in absolutely makes sure that she doesn’t do the things he says that you do, that piss him off. How does she know these things, well its simple, who else is he going to complain and rant to.  This is the SC that is fine with knowing that you exist right off the bat, and No she doesn’t care that you two have been in a 7 year relationship with however any kids.  Why not? Well, because she is “investing” herself in this relationship that she believes will be something bigger in the end.  The end which results in her being the Main chick, the Lady of his household. Even if thats not what his plans are for her.

  

I’m a SC ? The SC that truly didn’t know that she is the SC. She never knew you existed, she never knew he had kids or a family that he lives with. She thought she found the man of her dreams and unfortunately found out that he is committed to someone else. It doesn’t really matter how she found out but know that she knows she feels stuck. A person whom she has felt a deep connection with planned to be with and may have even presented to her family. Finding out she, herself, is the SC  well that hurts. Especially when now that she knows he’s probably feeding her lies about how he and you don’t sleep in the same bed. Or how you two have decided to stay in the same house for the kids.  But he never makes mention of her possibly meeting his so called “Ex” to verify. Since now she know he’s lying…What is she to do now? How can she explain this to her friends, better yet her family?

Ladies who are SC if you do become the MC always remember  that what hoes around comes around. Therefore there will be a time when he'll do to you what he's done to his MC. You'll say No, because he really ♡'s me, but wait didn't he really love his MC too? Don't be fooled!

        And ladies the answer to the question ”How to Stop the SC Dilemma ?” It’s easy Don’t Allow It to happen in your relationship. Too many times we are broken down by men whos actions chip away at our heart. Where we feel fear of leaving, fear of the unknown of what is to come. But we need to know our worth,especially since a man that is comfortable hurting you will never change. Looking at his track record will help you see where you've been vs where you are, and where you Want and Should be.
        In his mind he thinks of reasons to change, but then again Why Should He? You have allowed him to continue his actions because neither one of you leave, not the SC or the MC have left him. The truth is that we as women see relationships as investments, and they are an investment. Investments where we give our time, energy, love, fears, hopes, and dreams to share with our partner, or king, and the return should be a beautiful, healthy long relationship. But no matter how much you invest in your relationship you can always walk away with no return, nothing to show for those years that you have “invested” in him and with him in your "relationship". No matter how much you support him, and hold him down if he’s doing you wrong he will continue to do you wrong, because you are hurt, but okay with it.  There are times where we as women are Afraid to let the go for fear of starting over. Fear that no one wants a women with kids, the fear that all men are the same, and sometimes that fear that you are too old to find someone else. Says who? Look at yourself as an investment, are you worth a good man. Just as a good man is deser ing of you. Someone who will love your kids as their own, someone who will treat you like their Queen. Someone who at the end of the day knows what you have gone through in the past and understands the hurt that you’ve endured.  He will treat you like a Queen, and you will treat him like a deserving King.
        Now while it’s not impossible for people to change if you chose to stay with your partner make sure they know what you will not tolerate in your relationship. This doesn’t mean keep brining up what happened in the past. This just means that the 2 of you have an understanding as to what you are not willing to deal with, in other words these are your Deal Breakers. While you need to treat him like you want him he should treat you the same.  But in case your through...

 Fear Not...

To Our Women In Blue

~ I dedicate this to our Women in Blue …Who are amazing at what they do

~ Never judge a book by its cover

~ You never know what will unfold and what you’ll uncover

~ Some have stated “females aren’t strong enough to endure this type of occupation”

~ Never mind the fact they will save your life with no hesitation

~ Some have said “females don’t belong on the Force”

~ To those I say… you might want to go back and check your source

~ These women are not only Courageous, Strong, and Brave

~ Never judge as it may be your life they save

~ If your preconceived “gender “notions keep you ignorant and blind

~ Then allow someone else that deserving place in that police line

~ Do not allow thoughts of old gender roles to keep you divided

~ After all they continue to be strong even after the ignorance has subsided

~ No day for them is ever the same, they don’t do it for the glory or the fame

~ This is real life dedication never a game

~ It is whole heartedly true about our women in blue, they can do everything that our males in blue can do

~ Do you know 1st hand what this job entails?

~ So is it fair to be judged not on skill but because your female

~ No matter how near or far  ignorance will be there

~ Present as always with that goofy looking stare

~ Trust is an issue and I understand

~ But never underestimate a Police Woman

~Gun in her holster, vest on her chest whether you like it or not to you I say stay strong and God Bless!!!

"I'll never find a partner/ or get married "

Part I of III:
Do you say this about yourself?
"I'll never get married"
"Why can't I find a good man or woman"
"I'll never find a man"

"It just never seems to work"

Are these things that you say to yourself or to your friends about your love life.

How much do you love yourself that you speak these things into existence about your own life? You may not belive that what you speak into the universe to others about yourself does impact you. Now you may be thinking what does that mean speaking it into existence - when a person speaks negatively about their own life and what they will never find, accomplish, or do - the universe responds to the negative energy /  comments and feelings that you exhale into it. How so? Have you found that mate yet?  No,  surprise, surprise!

Changing yourself doesn't have to be physical most of the time changing from within is the key ,how do you do this?

Change for a better you.
Change the way you think and you will change what you speak - changing what you speak into the universe  and you will change the way you feel hence Law of Attraction. You must decrease / extinguish / and demolish these  negative thoughts you have about never finding  a partner because with thoughts such as those you seem undeserving of anyone loving you the way youd like them to.  Everyone deserves to be loved, yet if you don't feel IT you won't find IT-

The Law of Attraction:

1. The law of attraction is the name given to the term that "like attracts like" and that by focusing on positive or negative thoughts, one can bring about positive or negative results.

Affirmations

If you feel like saying these beautiful affirmations to yourself at least twice a day is stupid... let me ask you... Did you find your that wonderful mate yet? No ... okay then dont judge it without trying it.  This will only help to boost your confidence and positive vibrations and thoughts. You dont have to look at yourself in the mirror i know some get very weirded out by that.lol But this will also help in you role in appreciating yourself as the main character in your story. Treat yourself right first and the one who deserves you and will love and appreciate you just as you love and appreciate yourself will no doubt be sent to you.

Try picking one affirmation and saying it when you first wake up and in the middle of the day. Choose one for the week. Go....

What A Woman Wants :

A woman wants to feel thought of.

A woman wants to feel special.

A woman wants to know that if she needs you, your there.

A woman needs you to rub her back kiss her on the forehead and let her know that everything is going to be okay regardless of the situation.

Awoman wants you to invest in her what she invests in you.

A woman doesn't want to hear about the past but listen to the great things to come in the future.

A woman wants you, all of you, give her your bad with your good, your negative moments with your positive ones, your simplicity with your greatness.

An open letter to my Mother:

An open letter to my mother:

Sitting in a cold waiting room filled with people I don't know is disheartening in itself. Waiting for the word that everything went ok. That your in recovery, that your okay. Getting that brief sense of relief when seeing your doctor only to have it go wrong and from feeling joy to pain in a split second is heart wrenching. A pain that doesn't stop. A pain that feels like your heart is going to explode, leap out of your chest and run, while you faint, have migraines and nausea all at the same time... This is a letter to my mother. 

I never would've imagined I'd see you with wires coming from all directions. Feelings of anguish consume me.  You are by far after God the most important person in my life, but did I make you feel that way? Did I make you feel like you are priceless someone who could never be replaced! Did I?

Anyone that knows you knows that your heart is so big that angels fly around you constantly because you have the heart of an angel. I pray for you harder then I've prayed for anything in my life. I pray that God protects you and guides the doctors that work on you. I pray that after this experience with Gods will I can show you the utmost appreciation everyday. Everyday, because tomorrow is promised to no one ! This is my mother the women of my dreams. A women I've been blessed with for 29yrs. Selfless, honest, generous, courageous and loving. The woman that as an adult I aim to be like. I not only appreciate you I adore you. You ,mom, who are also my dad. You who did everything possible to give us what we needed even though my father was missing in action. Am i bashing him no. But i will say that I appreciate you more as I am now a grown woman and can understand the pain that you tried to shield me from in mot having a father. One who is supposed tonprotect uou guide you and love you... no worries because my dear I found that in you. As I look at my life i realize that things could've  been different. You could have been that mom that didnt want to be bothered with a child who looks wxactly like her father. Yes the one that walked out the one that didnt look back until his children were adults. And yet you never once bad mouthed him but you always reminded me " thats your father". Well whose there to thank you for pocking up the slack,  the extra hours of work, the help you have given me to assist me in finishing college. I am. Your daughter thank you. Thank you for always being true to yourself and in turn raising to be a woman of truth a woman who has self worth and can do anything j set my mind to.

Did you know that you are the reason I finished college because I didn't graduate WE graduated with two degrees. They may have my name but they are yours if not more than mine. At times we may not agree but I always made sure to listen why because Do you know you are one of the smartest women I know!! I pray God lays his hands on you and everything will be okay. I leave all my worries in his hands for they are bigger then mine can carry. As I write this with tears down my face I remember how we share experiences that help guide us and remind us to keep fighting. I will fight for you always now and forever, be here with you and love you forever! !!!!!!!♡♡♡♡♡♡

Dealing with friends who barrow money.

   How many times have you been approached by that "friend"? You know the one who asks to barrow $ money. And after you give it to them how long is it before you hear from them, weeks, months, years. Is it really worth it?
    Its understandable that there will be times when as a freind you can help another freind who is in that position of needing help. But isn't it better to give? Now I'm  not saying that everyone  who asks to barrow money you have to gift it to, but imagine how embarrassing it is for some of our friends  to have to ask. Now granted we all have those friends  who are not ashamed of asking and don't  return it either. To those I say cut your losses and God will bless you for helping them.  But also learn from your past with these "friends" sometimes having a Big a heart is a Big mistake especially when you've given money to these so called "friends " time and time again. 

Here are somethings to consider: 

- Is that friendship worth losing over money ?

- How important is the person to you? 

- Has this person helped you?

-Can you deal with not getting this money returned to you? 

     I have found that when you  can  help a friend and it doesn't effect you financially to bless someone who may need the blessing. Then do it. When you'll need it God will then bless you with a gift. 

And if you do decide  to" loan" money, large amounts of money always remember the word CONTRACT!!

Can there be a relationship without trust ?

Is there a REALationship with out trust ?

    How many of us have been at a point in our relationships where we doubt our partner/spouse? 

Thinking:

Is he really there ?  Is so & so there too ?  Did he really stop talking to her? Is he still texting her ? Is he doing it again?

     When trust has vacated the premisses of your relationship doubt sets in ! I put the word REAL in Relationships because that exactly what we are dealing with REAL LIFE. Its unfortunate to think of a relationship without trust because you as other individual in the relationship go crazy with WHAT IF'S????

What if he see his ex?

What if she tries something?

What if he meets someone else?

What if he sleeps with someone else...(again)?

WHAT IF?????

    To get right down to it we have all been lied to in one way or another. If you say "I don't lie"... that in itself would be the ultimate lie. Why? Sometimes we don't want to be bothered so you lie about what your doing or going, sometimes even who your with? Now, if your relationship has suffered in a way where your and your partner have lost some form of trust in your relationship what are you doing to rebuild it? Just forgiving your partner isn't enough. Yes I said FORGIVENESS IS NOT ENOUGH !!! As the saying goes " You forgive but you don't forget" ! Will you ever truly forget, NO but do you need to bring it up every day, every week, once a month, 12 times a year NO. Especially of your trying to move forward. Notice the last word being forward. You can't move forward if your constantly bringing your partner and yourself back to the place you were before. The place that made you insecure to begin with. It doesn't matter what type of situation got you to that place if your willing to move forward and move past it. Holding on to those feelings from the past will have you continue to have little to No trust in your partner. 
     Trust works like a two way street, where you both should be able to trust each other. Not one being trusting while the other tests the limits of trust in your relationship. If you have set out to Forgive your partner you have to truly forgive and not bring the situation up whenever you feel. Now granted it will be hard especially in times of arguments but bringing it up will only make your spouse re-live the situation too, and make them mad. 

Think of it this way: Imagine you have been accused of something and every chance someone gets they throw it in your face. The feelings attached with the guilt will resurface. How can u let these feelings go if you keep giving them LIFE by continuing to bring it up!! Yes doubt is like fire the more you feed into it the bigger it gets and the more harm it causes.

Understandably the pain that you feel isn't something that will go away right away but in time it will. If this is the person that you love and wants to be with you as much as you want to be with him, he will show you in their actions that they are sorry. 

You can regain the trust in your relationship but it will be a team effort.  The team being the 2 of you. Stay tuned tomorrow  I will share with you how to rebuild this trust... realistically! !